 | You believe you're supposed to take a covered dish to
heaven when you die. |
| You have never sung the third verse of any hymn. |
| You think someone who says "amen" while the
pastor is preaching might be charismatic. |
| You complained because your pastor only works one day a
week and then he works too long. |
| You clapped in church last Sunday and felt guilty about
it all week. |
| You woke up one morning craving fried chicken and
interpreted that as a call to preach. |
| You think the epistles are probably the wives of the
apostles. |
| You are old enough to get a senior citizen discount at
the pharmacy, but not old enough to promote into the
senior adult Sunday School department. |
| You think the Holy Land is in Nashville. |
| You feel the urge to stand up and sing the doxology after
they finish passing the hat at work. |
| You can sing all six verses of "Just As I Am"
without looking at the hymn book. |
| Your church has a preacher rather than a pastor, and HIS
title is Brother rather than Reverend. |
| You buy books written in Elizabethan English because the
language is easier to understand. |
| Your church celebrated your pastor's thirtieth birthday
and his fifteenth anniversary as an ordained minister at
the same time. |
| You think "The Association" is an organization
your church belongs to and not a singing group from the
'60's |
| You spent your formative years as a member of a young
ladies organization and all you have to show for it is a
cardboard crown and a gold painted stick. |
| You alternate your summer vacations between North
Carolina and New Mexico |
| You think the apostles drank Welch's Grape Juice at the
Last Supper. |
| You think Early Church refers to the 8:45 service. |
| You throw a dollar in the offering plate at church and
take out over fifty cents in change. |
| You think home life refers to something in a magazine
rack rather than time spent away from work. |
| The church you attend is named after a local tributary. |
